;-OOOOOOOOOOOOO

สมัยที่ฉันเรียนอยู่ที่อังกฤษ ฉันได้อยู่หอพักใกล้ๆ กับมหาวิทยาลัย มันเป็นหอพักรวมชายหญิง คนที่ดูแลหอพักนี้จะเป็นป้าแก่ ๆ คนหนึ่ง แต่หน้าตาแกโคตรเฮียบมาก ลองได้แกด่าใคร คนนั้นมันต้องซวยไปเป็นวันเลย ตอนเข้ามาอยู่ใหม่ก็ยังไม่มีอะไรเกิดขึ้น จนมาคืนหนึ่งฉันได้ยินเสียงไอ้เพื่อนข้างห้องตัวดี มันมีเสียงที่ประหลาดมาก โอ้วววววววว อ้าาาาาาาาาาาาาา อืมมมมมมม so good !!! harder baby !!! you fuxx me so good !!!!!! โอ้วววววว so nice !!!!!!!!!!!


อืมฟังสักพัก เออเข้าใจล่ะว่าเกิดไรขึ้น ไม่เป็นไรเรียนหนักย่อมมีผ่อนคลายเป็นธรรมดา ไม่ว่ากันครั้งแรก แต่มันไม่ใช่อย่างนั้น เพราะมันเริ่มจะทุกคืน อันนี้ผ่อนคลายมากเกินไป และไม่เกรงใจคนข้างห้องที่เค้าเปล่าเปลี่ยวไรคู่ และมันทำให้เราเกิดอารมร์ได้ หิหิ บรรดาคนในหอพักที่อยู่ที่ชั้นนั้น รวมถึงฉันด้วย เริ่มทนไม่ไหว เพราะมันดังทุกคืน ohhhhhh so goood อ้าาาาาา  อู้ออออออ พอกันทีทนไม่ไหวแล้ว เราไปฟ้องป้าที่ดูแลตึก ว่าให้มาจัดการหน่อย


ป้าแกขึ้นไปที่ห้องทันที เรียกไอ้เจ้าของห้องกับคู่ขามาด่า และพวกเราก็ยืนฟังอยู่ด้วย เพื่อให้เค้าสองคนละอายใจ ป้าแกต่อว่าอยู่สักพัก แต่แล้วก่อนป้าจะกลับไปข้างล่าง ป้าแกยิ้ม ๆ และบอกว่า "ไม่ว่าเธอสองคนทำอะไร ฉันว่ามันเป็นอะไรที่ต้องสุดยอดมากกกกก"


อ้าวป้า ไปให้ท้ายมันอีก @---@

what's wrong with your penis?

I met a girl years ago who I really liked and I was worried that when we finally have sex I would finish very quickly because she excited me so much. So I went to the store before our date and bought something called Maintain, which makes a guys private area numb to make our sex last longer.The last thing I wanted was to disappoint this beautiful girl.

So we had a great date and finally made it to my home and right before we had sex I told her I needed to go to the restroom to use mouthwash, but I really went and put the Maintain on myself.


I then came back to the bedroom and we started making out and she kept wanting to go down on me and I tried to stop her many times but finally I let her and after about a minute or two of her giving me oral sex she looked up at me and spoke with her mouth frozen half shut and said "I can't feel my lips or mouth what's wrong with your penis?"


I was very embarassed and had to tell her the truth; that I just wanted to make her happy and give her great sex and I was so sorry to make her mouth numb.
I felt very stupid.


She was nice about the whole thing and after her mouth went back to normal we had a great night together.

amazon jungle

I went to Singapore for business for few week. At the weekend I went to night club and  met girl. She kinda Hot and sexy and her body so fit. And most impotent She got nice boobs.I can't take my eyes off her boobs ;P We like each other but she doesn't back to my room that night. She gave number for me and then I called her in the next day and ask her for date. 


She came to meet me at the hotel and we had nice dinner. I'm so happy and had nice chat with her We done dinner and I ask her to come to drinks at my room. She said YES ! I think to my self "I gotta feeing that tonight gonna be a good good night hahaha"


When I open the door. We kiss all over each others. I don't think she want to drinks. So why we waiting for. we took off the clothes each others. But I wont take off her panties yet. Because I would like to play with her boobs for few minute. 


And then I'm down and ready to meet her sister under her panties. I took off her panties. OMFG !! I can't believe my eyes. I can't see her sister at all. She so hairy her pubic hair a lot like hell !! I'm thinking about Amazon Jungle. I'm thinking to my self " shit did she ever cut or shave I don't want to put my dick in the Jungle" 


I'm not horny any more after I saw the big jungle. But I don't want to upset her about that. I keeping play with her boobs and thinking want to gonna do and I got the plan in my mine  .
I told her that I need to go bathroom. In my hotel bathroom had phone so I called the lobby  down the hotel and tell them to call me back in 5 min !!!!!!


When I'm out from the bathroom. I act like I want to have sex with her so much after 5 min The phone was ringing. I answer the phone and I talk loud " Hello Tom speaking" and then I acting like lister to them and then I hang up the phone. I looking her face and said " Oh baby I have to go meet my boss now at night club He want to talk about business I'm so sorry baby" :-(


She was so mad. What can I do I don't want to go in the Jungle !!!!!!!!

Black Magic

ผมเป็นคนค่อนข้างโชดดีในเรื่องของผู้หญิง คือเวลาไปคลับที่ไรผมมักจะได้หญิงกลับมาทุกครั้ง ไม่ได้คุยน่ะนี่คือเรื่องจริง :-O มีอยู่ช่วงหนึ่งที่ผมได้รับข้อความทางโทรศัพย์แปลก ๆ 
" เธอลืมฉันแล้วเหรอ" 
ตอนแรกที่ได้รับงงครับ เพราะเบอร์นี้มันไม่ได้อยู่ในบัญชีรายชื่อผู้หญิงของผม ผมก็ไม่ตอบไปคือผมไม่รู้จริง ๆ ว่าเธอคนนี้คือใคร เธอส่งมาอีก 
"ทำไมไม่โทรหาเลย คิดถึงน่ะ ทำอะไรอยู่"
ผมส่งตอบกลับไปครับว่า "คุณส่งผิดเบอร์ หรือเปล่า ผมไม่รู้จักคุณ" 
เธอส่งกลับมาอีก " อ๋อ เธอลืมฉันเหรอ"
ผมส่งกลับไป "คุณชื่ออะไรอ่ะครับ"
เธอตอบกลับมา "ชื่อก้อย ฉันรู็ว่าเธอมีผู้หญิงแยะ มี sex กับผู้หญิงทุกวัน"
ผมพูดกับตัวเอง ก้อยไหนว่ะกรูไม่รู้จริงๆ นี่หว่า กรูจะทำไงดี ผมไม่ได้คุยน่ะท่านผู้อ่าน ผู้หญิงทุกคนที่ผมมีอะไรด้วย ผมจำได้หมดอ่ะ เบอร์โทรศัพย์ผมจะเมมไว้ที่โทรศัพย์ผมทุกคน ไม่มีพลาด ผมตอบกลับไป
"ผมไม่รู้จักคุณจริงๆ น่ะ ผมไม่มีเพื่อนชื้อก้อยเลย กรุณาอย่างส่งข้อความมาหาผมอีก"
เธอตอบผม " แกเลวมาก ถ้าแกลืมฉัน ฉันจะทำของใส่แก ให้ไอ้จู่ของแก เล็กมาก ๆ และจะให้จู๋แกไม่แข็งอีกต่อไป แกจะได้หมดสิทธ์เอากับผู้หญิงคนอื่น"
โอ้วแม่เจ้า !!!! เหี้ยเลยกรู อยู่ดี ๆ จะมีคนทำของใส่กรู ผมหวาดระแวงเป็นอาทิตย์ครับท่าน ถ้าจู๋ผมไม่ทำงานจะทำไงเนี้ย ขาดความมั่นใจไปหลายวันครับ หลังจากนั้นหนึ่งอาทิตย์ ผมก็พบว่าจู๋ของผมก็ทำงานปกติน่ะ :-P


Story by BRADPITT

Bring on next saturday night :)

I had been seeing this girl for a few weeks and all was going good,
so one night we met up in town had a few drinks and headed back to her apartment. Everything was going well and we ended up in bed having fantastic sex. Then all of a sudden her phone started to ring and she told me to be quiet,so I did. 

I could hear an angry guys voice and after she hung up I asked if everything was ok
She replied "yeah,just an old b/f wanting to come and see me"
So I laughed and said "just don't let him in"
She said "he has a key"
So now I start to panic a lot and I hear a knock on the door. So I shit myself and tried to hide but there was only the kitchen I could run too,so I did

But I forgot to gather my clothes,BAD MOVE
So now I'm stuck in the kitchen naked and cold. 
And now they sit in the living room and decide to have a long chat
(Now there is no way to get to the bedroom to get my clothes without them seeing me so I had to listen to them going to the bedroom have sex then fall asleep. 

When I thought it was safe I came out of the kitchen headed for the bedroom, when the door opened and the guy left and went into the toilet,that was when I made my move to run in grab my clothes (without shoes)

And head back to the kitchen in record time
Then I waited till the guy went back to the bedroom I got dressed and run out of the apartment. 

Now I have no idea if the guy heard me,but I didn't look back and run down the street in just my socks hoping the guy wasn't chasing me
After I thought I was far enough away I lit up a cigarette and headed for home laughing to myself on what a weird and lucky escape I had. 
Bring on next saturday night :)

Get under the bed sheets!

2 years ago while at university in Dublin,.. i was living with my college friends in the usuall cheap, run-down, delapadated, old houses that students rent out. There was about 8 of us living in this place that we called 'the palace', and it only had 4 rooms... and only 6 beds... so some guys were even sharing a double bed for the semester! but it was great fun and we were all good friends...

however, the problems would arise when someone had some 'company' and they were going to have a girl back i the bed... so that mean the other guy would have to sleep in the sitting room on a chair for the night!!

well,.. one night i was out... and i was with a girl that i met and we were going to go back to my bedroom after the party...
but this was the third night in one week that i was kicking my room mate out of the room to bring back a girl!!!

my room mate was not happy!! so we had a big arguement on the phone... and i told him to be out of the room when i get back or there will be war!!!

so when i got back he was gone...

and i threw the girl on the big bed and we started ripping eachothers clothes off and going at it hard, rolling around on the bed...

then i got a bad smell... shit!

first i thought oh no... i smell! no it wan't me....
oh no maybe my shoe!... no not my shoe...
then i realised it was off the girl... so she was lying on the bed and i was on top and when she sat up she could smell it too!! there was shit all over her shoulders and back.....!!!!!

my flat mate took his revenge!

he took a big shit in the middle of the bed under the sheet....

obviously the girl freakd out!

jumped up crying and screaming ran to the bathroom...

while all i could hear down stairs was the crying laughter of my friends!

i just laughed too...

the girl washed, cryed, and ran out the door...


Story by university boy 

paperbag

A female friend to me is you know a typicall angellike girl, never have one night stands and she's very Mrs Perfect. She had a long term relation with a guy name Marcus. After 4 years of Happiness they finished their relation.
She went out with me and some other dudes and dudies for party.

She met a cool guy, very sweet guy name Hampus. After loads of alcohol they went to his place for sex, they had the most amazing sex, all kind of positions, up n down, back n forth. The morning after, she woke up with a wonderful feeling in her body. She forget her X bf already and she really likes this new guy Hampus.

She sees that his not there, she's alone in the bed and she goes for the kitchen for breakfast, in his apartment. After breakfast she see a note from him.

Hi Bella!
Thanks for last night, I had an amazing time and I'm falling for you already ♥
I have to work today so leave the keys thru the postbox ( the postbox goes thru the door into the main hall floor)

She got happy and felt like she had to take a crap (bad stomach) :)
She goes into his bathroom and discover his toilett is broken.
She thought OMG! What shall I dooooo????

She takes a paperbag and takes a shit in that bag.. And puts it in the hallway.

Then she's writing a note to him like Oh Hampus I really like you and heres my number, see you tonight, Love Bella.

She goes out of his apartment, locks the door and throws the keys into the postbox.
Then she's leaving the building and thinks SHIT! OMG! I forgot the paperbag